To: Tom Jones June 22, 1997

From: Dad

Your difficulties have weighed heavily on my mind. In fact, it's beginning to become a threat to my mind set as I am having difficulties concentrating on my own responsibilities. As I had mentioned to you on numerous occasions sometimes putting these difficulties on paper can provide a path to the solution. What follows is something like a plan that we could work on together, so bear with me but most important of all- help me help yourself.

Your difficulty as I see it is a basic helplessness to control your own life which is a malaise that affects most everyone during their life. Some examples:

  1. Have little discipline to get up in the mornings.
  2. Can't seem to focus on a vocation, obtaining a job or even a part-time one despite one of the best job markets ever.
  3. No money
  4. Difficulties with the law .
  5. Acquired friends with like dispositions who seem enchanted with illicit drugs, all-night parties(which in turn make all the above occur more frequently) and who are holding you back from becoming in control of your life.
  6. Perhaps a sense of inferiority, lack of confidence in yourself and a lack of skills in proving to yourself that you can accomplish anything.
  7. What else? You fill in.

Now, how about a methodical plan to address your difficulties.

If your difficulty is drug addicted to drugs which in turn causes items a thru e to occur then the solution is to:

  1. To obtain a drug assessment from which its determination will likely lead to

a. In-house drug therapy like Amythist or out-patient treatment, frequent attendance to N/A meetings or if not successful-jail.

If your difficulty is not drug related as I suspect it to be then the solution is to

  1. Get a full time job, take a few courses at school, in general, keep yourself busy to the tune of 50+ hours. None of the above items can be addressed by sitting around, moping and feeling sorry for yourself. How can you find out what kind of vocation you want to pursue if you don't experiment and work various jobs?
  2. Join the service where you are bound to acquire the discipline needed to be a normal participant in responsible society. You get a free education and will more than likely get you to see a bit of the world that you would ordinarily never see.
  3. Others?

What we are going to do son is get these difficulties of yours solved. I strongly believe that you have only to look in the mirror to find a solution. I will help you focus if you will let me but more importantly find the will and the courage to do so.

Love you with a troubled heart


(7/11/99 this has got to be the worst time. However, it was foolish to think that you are somehow going to give a kid in the throes of a heroin addiction guidance. I didn't understand the tremendous hold this crap has on you. In fact, if God told me I could have him back, I'd surely take him but I'd have the heroin ready for him. Of course, I'd hope that we could avoid that. Unfortunately, from my research battling a heroin addiction is next to impossible)