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Darian,

<< First of all, clonodine is *not* a benzodiazepine >>

Yes, I made a BIG typo, which my friend Rich called to my attention.... I
truly meant to separate those!  I was just trying to stress the point of not
starting another addiction while trying to get away from one.  Clonodine can
be very helpful in a few ways with opiate withdrawal, like helping stomach
upset and nausea, but not the horrible craving and the pain.  Naltrexone
might be of some help, too, but again, it's one of those "if-y" drugs that
depends on personal choice.....

However, Valium and other benzo's can be addictive within just a couple of
days.  This I know, because the friend I mentioned previously is a "drug
addiction expert" and has dealt with quite a number of benzo addicts.  Also,
Xanax, if someone looks in the  PDR or can find info from a professional that
deals with these drugs, has a warning that comes along with it, stating that
dependence mat occur within the first several days of use....  I suppose
that's why they are listed in the schedule section that they are in.....

It seems like with drugs, it's always the "nothing for free" case.....

*sigh*  I'll stop rambling for now!  And Darian, thanks for picking up on my
typo....I wouldn't want anyone to pick up on that and take what they thought
was advice, when it was an accident!

Love,



Sue,

I got a few links for info on benzo's for you, I thought that they maybe able
to help you make the decision you want....  just so you can weigh out the
risk and benefit and whether or not you think it's the right choice for
you....  The second link says "Alprazolam (Xanax)", but it should be a close
description to Valium, since Valium is the pharmacological prototype for it.
If you'd like, I'll have Rich e-mail you with more info, because even with my
job, he still has more access to resources that might be of help to you and
he knows a great deal in this area....  I wish you luck and I hope you make
the choice that feels "right" to you!
<A HREF="http://www.encyclopedia.com/articles/01353.html">
Results for benzodiazepine</A>



From: "Richard Weilde"

Well, since I see she offered my help, I figured I'd write in to you, Sue.
I would stay as far away as possible from benzos.  True, they might help a
great deal of people through withdrawal, but you do have to weigh out the
benefit to risk ratio.  I have seen to many tragedies involving beznos to be
able to say "try what you think is right for yourself" and still get a good
night's sleep.  I would suggest Clonodine, perhaps Naltrexone, or even
Methadone to help you with various aspects of your withdrawal, but in time,
you should quit these also and as she said before, they are all
controversial in their own way.  There's nothing I can do to convince you to
not take benzos, but I'm worried about you just the same.  I would in no way
allow someone in my charge or someone in my family to use a benzo at a time
like this.  I hope you take care of yourself and make the right choice.

If you need any further info or help, feel free to contact me.
Warmest Regards,
Rick Weilde



Oct 99
From: "Sue Boothman"

I am having a hell of a time with my stupid mail server. What is the point
of getting cable if it doesn't do what it is supposed to.
Well, I am on day 4. I dont feel too too bad. Last night I went out for a
couple of beers and hot wings with a friend and I actually managed to keep
the wings down even though I was totally stuffed! Then I went to another
friends and did a line of coke. Just one line. But still I shouldn't have
done it. At least it was H, then I would be in big shit. My mom is taking my
kids for the night. I told Chris we should go out for some snacks (I almost
spelled smack !!!) and some drinks and just relax. He looks really rough
today so I hope things go well. He is getting paid today. Heres hoping I can
be strong. Wish me luck.
Sue.
PS, My son just went for a nap and now they are cutting the branches around
the apartment complex. Sometimes it feels like the whole world revolves just
for the sole purpose of pissing me off. Hehe
 



From: Nocturn27

In a message dated 10/13/99 1:03:00 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
x writes:

<< If you do take a benzodiazepine like Valium, Xanax, Clonodine,
etc....please
 be careful in coming off of them....many times (as with barbs and alc.) the
 withdrawal can be fatal....if your addictive dose is high enough...please,
 please be careful!! >>

First of all, clonodine is *not* a benzodiazepine; it's actually a blood
pressure medication that is often used in opiate withdrawal.  You're probably
confusing it with Klonopin which is a benzodiazepine.  It's true that
benzodiazepine, barbiturate, and alcohol withdrawal is more dangerous than
heroin withdrawal and can indeed be fatal.  One should *never* quit a
benzodiazepine addiction cold turkey.  I have been physically addicted to
Valium a few times in my life (when I was doing lots of coke and no H) and
have been able to quit safely and without medical supervision every time by
very gradually lowering my dosage until I was down to 0.  However, taking
high amounts of Valium for a week or so to get through heroin withdrawal is
not enough long to become physically addicted.  What's important is the
ability to stop taking Valium once the worst of the withdrawal is over.  For
those who are able to do that, Valium can be very helpful during opiate
withdrawal.

Regards,
Darian



Breaking the cycle: Fort Worth
                     drug trafficker enters prison with
                     a Bible and a mission
                     By Marisa Taylor Star-Telegram Staff Writer
                    FORT WORTH -- Soon after Carl Roberts' 14th birthday, he began to realize that
                     his father had a second job -- as a Fort Worth drug trafficker.

                     In the 1980s, drug enforcement agents regarded Roberts' father, Melvin, as one
                     of Fort Worth's most significant heroin and cocaine traffickers.

                     "I remember my father working at a dry cleaners and then hustling after work,"
                     Roberts said in a recent interview at Fort Worth's Federal Medical Center, the
                     same prison where his father landed after drug enforcement agents caught up
                     with him.

                     Like his father, the 45-year- old Roberts has spent years behind bars. But
                     Roberts, who has been convicted twice on federal drug charges, says he is
                     breaking his family's cycle of drug trafficking. His story of a drug trafficker
                     reformed has convinced a federal judge, a federal prosecutor and a church
                     congregation that he has a chance of changing his life.

                     "If you are truly changed, it's reflected in your conduct and your speech. I think I
                     have broken the cycle," Roberts said. "God gave me the spiritual discernment to
                     know that all drugs are evil. Anybody who's involved in illicit drugs is hurting
                     people who use illicit drugs."

                     As he began a four-year sentence for possession
                     with intent to distribute cocaine, Roberts said last
                     week that he is different from other prisoners who
                     vow to changed their lives after an arrest. Roberts
                     said he converted to Christianity after his last drug
                     deal but before his arrest in the case.

                     Roberts said he hoped that his story will persuade young men to stay away from
                     the drug trade. In prison without bail since July, he started a Bible study group to
                     help other prisoners to change their ways.

                     "I see a lot of destruction," said Roberts, with a Bible at his side. "I see a lot of
                     young men -- generations of children -- coming through this system who will do
                     a lot of time here."

                     "You can resolve that you are no longer part of the problem in society and
                     contribute to the solution," he said. "It's one thing to say, `I repent.' It's another
                     thing to say, `I'm going to do something to help others so they don't go down this
                     road.' "

                     When Roberts stood before U.S. District Judge Terry Means last week, he was
                     facing 20 years in prison and a $1 million fine. He had pleaded guilty in July to
                     possession with intent to distribute cocaine.

                     Dozens of supporters appeared for his sentencing, including members of the
                     Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship church in Dallas that Roberts began attending before
                     his arrest.

                     His supporters were hopeful because prosecutors recommended that Roberts
                     receive a light sentence. He had testified against two defendants in a case that
                     involved 23 people accused of operating a heroin and cocaine ring.

                     In a speech to the judge, Roberts emphasized his conversion to Christianity.

                     "There was a time in my life when I thought my crime was no worse than what
                     anyone did; drugs were a major part in the environment I grew up in," Roberts
                     told the judge in federal court. "I am not the man I used to be. I take full
                     responsibility for all the pain I have caused."

                     During the hearing, Means said he wanted to avoid being too lenient when
                     handing down a sentence for distributing a drug that is "destroying not just
                     individuals, but families and whole neighborhoods."

                     But the judge said he was impressed by Roberts' conversion and the speech
                     that moved strangers sitting in court at the time to tears.

                     "Your moving statement to the court is one of the best ones I've ever heard," he
                     told Roberts.

                     As his family and friends sobbed in relief, Means sentenced Roberts to four
                     years in prison without parole. Roberts hugged his attorney and the federal
                     prosecutor who argued for his conviction.

                     The prosecutor, Renee Harris, said Roberts' transformation is striking because
                     he vowed to change his ways before he faced prosecution.

                     "The difference between Carl Roberts and other people that I see is what he
                     made of his life before his arrest," she said. "There's something to be said for
                     someone who decides to turn it all around."

                     But reformed criminals such as Roberts often discover that the straight life is
                     harder than they first believe, federal officials said. Prisoners may feel a genuine
                     regret for their actions, but they can easily slip back into the lucrative business of
                     drug trafficking once they are out of prison.

                     "We don't know, when we see people express what appears to be a heartfelt
                     repentance, whether that determination to turn their lives around will be
                     successful or not," Means said. "But we have to give them the benefit of the
                     doubt."

                     Carl Roberts said he and his three sisters were different from their father. Melvin
                     Roberts came from a poor family, never completed high school and could barely
                     read.

                     "He did not complete high school because his parents only had a pair of overalls
                     for him to go to school in," Carl Roberts recalled. "At some point, he dropped out
                     of school to provide for his family."

                     Carl Roberts finished high school and served two years in the Navy. But in 1983,
                     he was sent to prison on a federal cocaine conviction and served three years
                     before being paroled. He said he tried to run several legitimate businesses,
                     working as an auto broker and medical suppler.

                     He said he never fit in with the street dealers or the "hustlers" like his father did.

                     "I was never really one who ran the streets or hung out in the streets," he said. "I
                     was probably more of a white-collar drug dealer."

                     Still, he admitted, "The allure of the dark side was always there because of the
                     strong ties that I had to my family and friends who were in that industry."

                     Drug enforcement agents first crossed paths with Melvin and Carl Roberts when
                     they arrested Melvin Roberts' nephew in a roundup of 55 drug suspects in 1983.

                     Although agents did not arrest Carl or Melvin Roberts at the time, they seized
                     Melvin's $185,000 house in east Fort Worth, a Mercedes, and $150,000 in
                     jewelry.

                     Later that year, agents had gathered enough evidence to arrest the father and
                     son. Melvin Roberts was sentenced to 34 years in federal prison for arms
                     possession, cocaine and tax evasion.

                     The family received another blow in 1989 when one of Carl's sisters, Pamela
                     Roberts Jimison, was sentenced to nine years in federal prison for her
                     involvement in a drug case that included Fort Worth kingpin Billy Ray Maddox.

                     Jimison, who relatives say has also been a devout Christian for years, has been
                     released from prison but declined to be interviewed.

                     During her trial, she testified that Maddox gave her $40,000 to buy cocaine for
                     him, but that she returned it the next day because of her Christian faith.

                     Jimison insisted in court that she approached Maddox only because she needed
                     money to support herself, her son and daughter.

                     "I knew he knew my father," she said.

                     Carl Roberts' family history troubled his wife. She met him when she worked as
                     cashier in the prison where he was serving time for his first drug conviction. But
                     she said she was convinced that he would break with his past and began dating
                     him after his release. Four years later, they were married.

                     She soon realized that her husband had started selling drugs again.
                     Sometimes, she said, she considered leaving him.

                     Roberts' wife, who lives in Arlington, asked that her name not be used to protect
                     her 15- year-old daughter.

                     "I tried to detach myself as much as I could," she said. "There were times I was
                     not aware of it because he knew my objection to it."

                     In 1996, everything changed, relatives said. A gunman entered Roberts' auto
                     broker business in a robbery attempt and shot him in the abdomen. Doctors told
                     his family that his chances of survival were slim.

                     Roberts said he is convinced that he lived only because relatives and friends
                     refused to give up on him and prayed for his recovery.

                     Believing his recovery was a miracle, he and his wife began attending the Oak
                     Cliff Bible Fellowship.

                     "We were so moved by what we saw -- the love, the peace, the contentment --
                     that we decided whatever it was they had, we wanted," he said.

                     In his zeal for his newfound religion, Roberts said, he even tried to persuade old
                     friends from his former drug circles to convert to Christianity.

                     But he couldn't shake his past. Two years later, Roberts was arrested for a 1997
                     drug deal that he said he cut before his conversion.

                     Roberts said he is determined that he will never return to prison.

                     If his father made the same pledge, he failed. In August, Melvin Roberts was
                     sent back to prison for a parole violation. Three months later, after falling ill in
                     Fort Worth's Federal Medical Center, Melvin Roberts died at 73.

                     Roberts said he wants to be an example to his two grown children, including a
                     son who is in state prison for shooting at people in a car.

                     "We have to understand the battle between good and evil that takes place in the
                     minds of men," Roberts said. "The question is whether we want to pass on to
                     our children a blessing or a curse."

                     Marisa Taylor, (817) 390-7684



Message: 1
   Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 17:50:10 EST
   From: DebilGirl@aol.com
Subject: Re:  Re:

Dear Charro:

I am SOOOO happy for you!  Congratulations!  Just hold on to that feeling.

I wish that addiction was all in one's mind.  I don't know the physical
withdrawal symptoms from cocaine, but I can assure you that the withdrawal
symptoms from heroin are really terrible, and the changes your body goes
through last for a very long time.  Heroin totally supresses the body's
manufacture of endorphins -- the chemical that gets released to your brain
and gives you that really good "natural high" feeling, because with heroin
you don't NEED a natural high.  Once you stop, it takes a good many weeks (at
least) before your body once again starts releasing endorphins to your brain,
and in the meantime the depression is unbelievable.  NOTHING makes you feel
good, even the things you love most in the world cannot cheer you up.  And
it's a physical thing; it's not a mental desire to go back to the drugs.

The reason I'm writing this is because there might be some "lurkers" on this
list who are heroin users -- people who have tried to kick and couldn't deal
with the withdrawal or with the horrible depression afterwards.  And I know
that pills can even be more difficult to physically withdraw from than
heroin.  I want those people to know that what they are going through is VERY
REAL, it's NOT in their heads.  They might be feeling guilty enough because
they have become addicted; I don't want anything added to that guilt.

But Charro, regardless of anything, what you have done is nothing short of
wonderful!  You deserve to be so proud of yourself!  You really are an
inspiration to those of us who are still fighting the good fight.  But I'm
not surprised...after all, you're a Brooklyn girl!

Love to all,
Chris
 

_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________

Message: 2
   Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 20:17:25 -0500
   From: "Ricci" <redlight@epix.net>
Subject: Re: Re:

Dear Charro and Chris,

Sorry I haven't written sooner, ... it's just been crazy around with the
thanksgiving holiday and start of the Christmas season.  Charro,... that's
awesome that you had that day where you just enjoyed life.  I don't think I
had any physical withdrawal symptoms when I stopped using coke years ago.
It was more mental the whole time since I generally only used on Friday
nights since I didn't have work the next day.  But once I made up my mind to
stop, there was no turning back.  I can't say I would *never* do it again
although that's the promise I made to myself and it's been over 10 years.
The pills are a whole other story for me,... but I use them on a daily basis
so the difference there along is great.

But coke is a very hard drug to kick mentally, and if you're feeling this
good after this short amount of time,... that's GREAT!  I'm jealous and wish
I could say the same! <G>

Chris, are you still okay?  Have you heard from Dell?

Wishing you both the best!

Ricci


          To Addicts Mom...
     Date:
          Thu, 06 Apr 2000 09:26:36 EDT
    From:
          "David Conley" <davidlex@hotmail.com>
 Reply-To:
          "An Addict's View" <opiates@listbot.com>
       To:
          opiates@listbot.com
 
 

An Addict's View - http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/9740/

Dear Mother;

     Its so nice to see that you and your husband care SO much for you
child.  I have just a little adivse for you, k.  I was addicted to
Morphine
for over 19 years.  Oh yea, I dabbled with ALL opiates, but found
Morphine
to be the easiest and cleanest opiate to get and use.  Heroin has so many
impurities in it, but I still snorted it...  Yes, there are probably some
hidden reasons your daughter has for doing heroin, but Mom, its way past
the
point of just recalling her past and dealing with it.  She now has a
PHYSICAL problem, a medical problem.  The problem is that her brain is
deprived of certain neurotransmitters that she lost when she used heroin
for
those long peroids of time.  The heroin takes place of her natual
endorphines, (a naturally occuring chemical, whose structure is very,
very
similiar to morphine and other opiates) and now she must substitute her
lost
endorphines with Methadone.  Methadone Maintenance Therapy (MMT) is the
way
Mom...  I believe that I can speak with confidence on this one!  A little
history, k.  I am 38 years old and have been addicted to one type of
opiate
or another for over 19 years.  I had my first opiates when I was in an
automobile wreck at 17 years of age, and fell in love with them
immediately.
  There must have been some type of genetic makeup that addicted me so
quickly, for I became a LOVER of opiates from day #1.  Well, life had to
go
on and so did I.  I finished high school, went 1 year to college, then
began
working, while all the time using Morphine/Heroin...  I eventually went
back
to college and aquired my Bachelor of Science degree in Biology (with
honors
(: from the University of Kentucky, while all the time being severelly
addicted to Morphine.  I have a very good job now in Research and
Developement for a major Biotech. company here and things are going
great.
However, it was not always that way...  I have quit opiates for short
peroids of time, a month or two-three, then the same ol, same ol.  I
Relapse!!!  Well, I had enough of it when I stumbled across Rose's page
and
found the light!  I started on MMT just over 7 months ago and I feel
fantastic...  It gives one new life, you just have to take it, its out
there.  Jim from Pa. is right when he said that high doses of methadone
will
be of great benefit to your daughter.  YOU or ANYONE else cannot help
her,
even herself can't mom, for it is now a physical and medical matter; not
much to do with willpower now.  If your daughter is at the right dose of
methadone, she will not feel any sickness, she will not be able to "get
high" of heroin or any other opiate either.  This in itself is great, for
after a few times she will realize, "why buy heroin if I cant get high
off
it"?  It may take some time to get her stabilized, but its worth the time
eh...  In most clinics, according to my Dr., the normal methadone dose is
somewhere between 80-120 mg./day.  However, some people need a much
higher
dose.  For myself, I take 210 mg./day and have not used ANYTHING, except
for
Pot, which I and my MMT counselor consider a non-harmful drug,
(disscusion
on that some time later).  Your daughter should insist on a high-low 24
hour
peak serum trough level blood test.  It tells the Dr. how much methadone
is
in your system for a 24 hr. period, the highs and lows of the dose. 400
ng./ml is considered to be theraputic, meaning it takes away the cravings
and withdrawl symptoms and stops one from getting "high" off
heroin/opiates.
  Mine is 582 ng/ml, so as you can see, the 80-120 mg./day dose of
methadone
is only a guideline, some need more, some need less.  IF your daughter
wants
to beat this deamon of addiction, then MMT is the ONLY way, that is the
simple, scientific explanation.  She is sick and needs her medicine,
Methadone...  She will ALWAYS need it, for she lacks the endorphines that
once were in her brain and then replaced by heroin.  Replace them with
Methadone instead; it really, really does work.  GET THE RIGHT DOSE!
HIGHER
DOSES ARE BETTER THAN LOWER DOSES, especially in a case like your
daughters
who would not get "high" if she were stabilzed on a high dose of
Methadone.
Whatever you do, continue to love her and help her; she is so lucky to
have
you and your husband for advise and unconditional love.  It helps so much
to
have people who REALLY care for you when your down, I will pray for you
and
your family...  If I can help in any way, I am here always...

Nice link=www.methadone.org

Take care,
David



Re: TO Addicts Mom
     Date:
          Wed, 5 Apr 2000 11:01:56 -0400 (EDT)
    From:
          lillilouise@iname.com
 Reply-To:
          "An Addict's View" <opiates@listbot.com>
       To:
          opiates@listbot.com
An Addict's View - http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/9740/

Hello,

The thing I learned from my counseller is that there is always an
underlying reason why we use/become addicted to heroin.  Too often we
accept the reason why we first tried it as the reason.  Too often we
accept that it makes you feel good as the reason we became addicted to
it.  Yes it is important that someone convinced us to try it just one
time, yes it is important that it makes you feel so damn good you keep
doing it and doing it until it is no longer a choice but a necessity to
survive.

My counsellor kept hammering away at me that until I searched deep inside
of me for the real reason I self medicated myself with heroin I would
never stop.  You can't get rid of heroin until you address the real
reason you use it.  Yes you can stop using, but until you figure out why
you used you'll continue to relapse.

For me it was years of both physical and mental abuse by my twin sister
that lead me to it.  When my sister received heroin from her boyfriend on
our 16th birthday they both told me they wanted me try it too.  I was
never that much into drugs but I knew what would happen if I told them
no.  So I went along as I always did just to spare myself untold abuse
from her.

And what did it get me?  Addiction to both heroin and cocaine, being
kicked out of my house, resorting to stripping and prostitution to feed
my habit, being arrested too many times to count, overdosing, and
ultimately the feeling that suicide was the only way out for me.  Suicide
was the answer because I had no hope and I had already seen too much for
only being 19.

Had I been able to tell my parents what my sister was doing to me all
those years perhaps they could have done something.  Perhaps I then would
have been strong enough to tell my sister, "No, I don't want to do heroin
with you".  But I never reached out to my parents for help and as a
result I wasted 3 1/2 years of my life sticking rigs in any vein I could
find for relief.

For me heroin took away all the pain I felt.  It took away the shame I
felt for being so weak, for my inability to stand up to my sister.
Heroin ultimately made me feel nothing...which is the way I wanted to
feel.  Feeling nothing, no matter what the price, is better than feeling
unrelenting pain.

Something in your daughters life..hidden far away is the real reason she
is a heroin addict.  Before she can rid herself of heroin she has to
reach deep inside herself and find that reason and address that demon
once and for all.  Only after that demon is gone can she stop and begin
rebuilding her life.

Stand by her and help her get back.

Lillian



An Addict's View -
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/9740/

I believe what every parent/wife/husband/lover
should know is that you cannot allow an addict
to live in your house.  You have to cast them
out to experience the reality of what they are
doing.  You allow them to continue to live in a
nice safe house what do they have to gain by
getting clean.  I was an addict for two years
living for the most part in my parents nice
expensive suburban house.  I had a place to
sleep, food, a car, money, everything normal
people had.  What earthly reason did I have to
stop my destructive lifestyle?

Once my parents got smart and kicked my sister
and I out we suddenly had nowhere to live, no
money, no family to lean on.  Granted it took
me 2 years to figure it out and I did some
shitty things to survive but eventually that
life wore me down and brought me back to where
I should have been the whole time...clean and
living an honest life.  Ending up a stripper
and eventually a prostitute is a tough way to
learn the difference between right and wrong
but if that's what it took for me to wise my
ass up so be it.

I know it was hard for my parents to do it and
I hated them for so long after they kicked me
out.  But looking back it was the only option
left to them.  And I forced their hand by
continuing to shoot dope and hurt them.
I never stole from them but my sister did and
to them they couldn't differentiate between
what she did and what I did.  To them we were
both stealing from them and there was nothing I
could do to prove otherwise.  The more they
learn about what I did on the streets to
survive the worse they feel but I keep telling
them I did it to myself so don't worry about
it.

Addicts (I hate the term junkie) do what they
have to do to feed their arms.  The hurt people
they love, they hurt strangers, and most of all
they hurt themselves.  You guys can control the
fact that they hurt you, the ones they love.
But remember the foremost priority of an addict
is dope, everyone and everything comes second.
But in our lucid times we know we're hurting
you and we feel horrible about it.  But staving
off the sicks makes it all too easy to keep
doing what we're doing.

Lillian



Lisa,

  I lived on the streets on and off for 4 years and yes itís a
  dangerous life.  But addicts have a sense of survival most
  people donít.   You learn the ropes and itís not as bad as
  an outsider would think.

  All you and your family can do is offer your support and
  keep telling her when she is ready to stop youíll be there
  for her.  You canít force her to do it, the will to do it will
  come from inside her.  And some people do not want to
  stop as daff as that sounds.    As bad as an addicts life is,
  life straight sounds even worse to them.  Iíve been clean
  for over 6 months now and there are still times when my
  brain tries to trick me.  Iíll remember only the good feelings
  dope gave me and forget what it did to my life.  I look at
  you at age 16 and think back to when I was your age.
  I started hitting the vein at 16 and it took almost 4 years of
  hell to make me see the light.  I donít know how old your
  Aunt is or how long sheís been on but she can do it when
  she is ready.  And even once she stops sheíll have a long
  road ahead of her to rebuild her life.  Iím 20 and even to
  me at times it is a daunting task to regain everyoneís trust
  and regain the life I once had.

  I would make sure you and your family are well educated
  on the types of detox facilities that are available in your
  area and the types of methods that help us stay off dope.
  Be well versed in methadone, LAAMS, naltrexone,
  wellbutrin, bup, and even N.A..  That way when she comes
  and says sheís HONESTLY ready to quit you are all
  prepared to help her.  When she comes youíll have a
  short window of opportunity to help her.  If you donít get
  her immediately sheíll go out and help herself the only way
  she knows howÖ.shoot dope.

  Good luck,

  Lillian


> "THE WHITE HORSE"
>
> BEHOLD MY FRIEND I AM HEROIN,
> KNOWN TO ALL, AS DESTROYER OF MEN,
> FROM WHERE I'VE COME FROM KNOW ONE KNOWS
> A FAR AWAY PLACE WHERE THE POPPY GROWS
> I CAME TO THIS COUNTRY WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT,
> AND SINCE THAT DAY I'VE BEEN HUNTED AND SOUGHT
> WHOLE NATIONS HAVE GATHERED TO PLOT MY DESTRUCTION
> THEY CALL ME THE BREEDER OF CRIME AND SEDUCTION,
> I AM MORE POTENT THAN WHISKEY, MORE DEADLY THAN WINE,
> YES I AM THE SEWARAGE OF ALL MANKIND
> MY LITTLE WHITE GRAINS ARE NOTHING BUT WASTE,
> I AM SOFT AND FLUFFY AND BITTER TO TASTE
> I AM WHITE, I AM BROWN, BUT DEADLY TO USE
> FOR ONCE YOU'RE ADDICTED, I REALLY ABUSE
> I AM KNOWN IN THAILAND, IRAQ, AND IRAN
> I AM WELCOME IN TURKEY AND HAVE BEEN TO JAPAN
> IN CELLOPHANE BAGS I MAKE MY WAY
> TO MEN IN OFFICES AND CHILDREN AT PLAY
> TO THE HEAD OF THE STATE, TO THE LOWEST OF SCUM
> I TAKE A RICH MAN AND MAKE HIM POOR
> I TAKE A MAIDEN AND MAKE HER A WHORE,
> MAKE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN FORGET THEIR LOOKS
> AND MAKE A STUDENT FORGET THEIR BOOKS
> I CAN MAKE YOU STEAL, LIE, BORROW AND BEG,
> THEN SEARCH FOR YOUR VEIN IN YOUR ARM OR YOUR LEG
> I AM KNOWN TO BE SELFISH AND FILL YOU WITH GREED
> STILL FACELESS, REGARDLESS OF RELIGION OR BREED
> MY GIFT IS ILLUSION, MY BLESSING IS FATE
> DEATH AND DESTRUCTION FOLLOW MY WAKE,
> I AM THE KISS OF DEATH TO ALL WHO I TOUCH
> I START AS A GIFT AND REMAIN AS A CRUTCH
> MY FRIENDS ARE MANY I AM LOYAL TO NONE
> I CAME TO DESTROY..... MY WORK WILL BE DONE
> SOME THINK OF ME AS MERELY A TOY
> RUN FROM ME IF YOU WISH..... I WILL NEVER GIVE CHASE
> FOR SOONER OR LATER YOU'LL RETURN FOR A TASTE
> (maybe some but not the guys on this list)
> ONCE I'M IN YOUR BLOOD STREAM
> YOU'LL THINK OF ME AS NOT MEAN
> YOU WILL PRAISE ME AS MASTER THEN, NOT A DREAM
> YOU HAVE HEARD MY WARNING
> BUT WILL TAKE NO HEED
> PUT YOUR FOOT IN T HE STIRRUP
> MOUNT THIS GREED STEED,
> GET RIGHT IN THE SADDLE AND HOLD ON REAL WELL
> FOR THE "WHITE HORSE HEROIN" WILL TAKE YOU TO HELL
>
>


 

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